Breakdown.

So it finally happened. The unexplainable deafening wireless static at the end of OWOC's Christmas presentation dress rehearsal pushed me over the edge. I totally lost it and broke down into a million tears.

Now, in hindsight, it's absolutely hilarious. It's quite astonishing that I've made it through the last three years of unexplainable hisses, buzzes, random static, inputs showing up or not showing up where they're supposed to, random drastic monitor changes, tripped breakers, and all kinds of other drama, withOUT breaking down....::reflecting::.............yes...quite impressive indeed.

Not exactly sure what caused the break. Kaleb & I were at eachother's throats the entire day (for what reason, I don't even remember). Couple that with a billion little projects going on at work, coupled with my bedroom (my home, my oasis) being in complete shambles because of my schedule, and simply not having enough hours of the day, and then add on a dress rehearsal (the last chance I had to get things together technically) and the audio not working the way I wanted it to... That was it. I completely BROKE...DOWN.

Some may be surprised to know I cry alot.(SHOOOOCKER!!!!) But seriously. I'm very emotional. I tend not to mind the fact I'm emotional, until I can't contain it in front of other people. Loosing it in the privacy of my bedroom is one thing. Loosing it in public...SUCKS. lol. And it wasn't like a weepy, cute little cry...oh no...It was the kind of cry where I couldn't even catch my breath. "I-I-I'm so sorry!!!!!!" I sobbed to Isaac & Sara. sigh. Forget about the audio. At that point, I was so embarrased about bawling I could care less about the audio, I just needed to stop crying. And the more I tried to stop, the worse it got. They stopped everything and prayed for me right then and there. Yea...you know it's bad when you get the drop everything emergency prayer.

sigh...my eyeballs were sore the next morning. (Just incase there was a chance of me forgetting my breakdown: FAIL!) I woke up, and drove immediately to the church. While I had peace of mind, I was not yet confident that I had everything together. Come to find out that the deafening static that came through my PA at the end of rehearsal was a TV station sitting on the same exact frequency that my mic was sitting on. So when I turned off the transmitter, the receiver picked up the station, blasted its signal through the PA, and as a result, everyone's ears bled. mm...lessons in wireless audio. >:( At least that issue was explainable. ::shrugg::

So the result. All the wireless audio for the OWOC Christmas Presentation was flawless. Quite honestly, at the moment of my breakdown, I kinda knew it would be. It's always when you're at the complete end of your rope that God steps in. And it just so happens, He never messes up.

Starstruck.

Last week I did my first film gig. Taping gig? ...I don't know what you would call it. We filmed the Disney Christmas Parade. It was a pretty cool gig. I was Deck Chief for the Castle Stage while Neil & Pamps were at FOH with Al. Quite the experience. Kind of a mix between live audio, and studio....Actually, it was a lot like studio, except, there were a billion people there (audience) taking part in the "takes" with you....and witnessing all your mess-ups. lol. Juuuust kidding. We don't mess up at Disney World.

Our call times were 4AM...When I first saw my schedule I was like "::shrugg:: 4am...meh, just an early morning gig.".....HA!HA!HA!ha ha......ha....ahhhh...........YEA, it was an overnight. Ain't nothing "early" about 4am. That's straight up the middle of the NIGHT! haha

So the musical artists featured in this year's parade are Lee DeWyze (latest American Idol winner), Jackie Evancho (this AMAAAAZING 10 year old classical singer), Darius Rucker, Sean Kingston, and the headliner is Mariah Carey.

Funny story. I'm not one to get starstruck...like...at all. The last artist I met that had me a little star struck was En Vogue, and that's simply because I used to make up choreography to their songs during 5th grade recess. So when I had the opportunity to mix monitors for them, you couldn't wipe the smile off my face for weeks. (Clearly, I'm still proud about that.) But apart from En Vogue...eh....It just doesn't happen to me.

So when Mariah Carey showed up and I wasn't starstruck, it didn't shock me. But then....oh...but then....there was ONE person that showed up that totally made my heart rate go up.

DEBBIE. ALLEN.

The genius herself, showed up on my stage to choreograph....I wasn't just star struck...I was freagin' scared. I can't even begin to tell you how much I admire this woman. Just the thought of being in her presence makes me nervous all over again. lol

So starstruck, in fact...that when she approached me in a rush to ask where the nearest restroom was, I TOTALLY drew a blank...Not only did I draw a blank...I stuttered. (yes...stuttered.) And even though I visited the restroom a good 5 times already that day, in that moment, I had NO idea where the restroom was. (It gets better.) I had to find a fellow coworker to escort the great Debbie Allen to the nearest restroom because I had NO IDEA where it was.... I know.....I know...But I told you. I don't get starstruck. So in the rare case that I DO get starstruck, I have no idea where the bathroom is...and quite honestly, if she would have asked me my name, I probably wouldn't have known that either. ::smacks forehead::...lol...I still can't believe that happened to me.

So remember to tune in to Disney's Christmas Day Parade on Christmas Day on ABC! LOL! You won't see me, but you WILL see Mariah Carey!!! Check your local listing for showtimes and DVR it! It airs at 10am in Orlando.

Have you met any celebrity who's made you starstruck? Share it!....it'll make me feel better about my moment. lolololol

The hardest gig ever...

Take a good look at this...

Everyone has influence. WHAT is your influence, and WHO are you influencing?! LOL *smh*

ahhhhh, on to other random things.

Did Christmas come even EARLIER this year or is it just me? I have a jam PACKED December. Special events at Disney, a major install which includes ripping the entire infrastructure out of my stage, and OWOC's Christmas program which gets bigger and bigger every year.

When I moved to Orlando for a church plant, I had no idea it would be this difficult. I mean, don't get me wrong,  OWOC is WONDERFUL. Hands down the most powerful church I've ever been a part of. But it. is. HARD. WORK. And I'm beginning to see that it's hard because OWOC is a powerful church. OWOC is changing lives - a rarity these days in the modern church. The devil is pissed. I'm pretty sure he hates OWOC. lol And I hate to be all super spiritual about it, but the reason I know that is because there are some Sunday's were there is absolutely no reason for some of the technical issues we have. 

After a very....intense Sunday, Kaleb and I sat at Bento's, COMPLETELY worn out and just stared at eachother. We didn't even need to say any words. We were having a non-verbal, somehow, telepathic conversation and it mostly consisted of "What...tha....heck....Sound is NOT supposed to be this DIFFICULT!!!!"

It astounds me. At this point in my career I've mixed some pretty major shows, worked with a few legends, lead a few crews here and there and yet Orlando World Outreach Center...only 24 inputs...6 aux sends... and a setup that NEVER. CHANGES. is the most difficult gig I've ever.....done...... ::blinking::.....make sense of that to me...please.

lol....ahhh....God has a sense of humor. Seriously.

So....embarrassing....

...................

And we wonder....why...

I have....NO words....yet....

THIS is too good!!!!!!!

You know....flying standby will get you saved. I'm about to SHOUT yall.

This is just way to good not to blog.

You know, God will let you go through things just so He can get the glory in the end. I'm sorry, if I get a little preachy in this blog, but He was WAAAAAY to good to me today. In the midst of all my praying in that airport, I promised I'd give Him all the glory once I got on my flight! Let me share with you how RIDICULOUS my God is!!!!

As stated in my previous blog, I missed my flight this morning. American Airlines (the worst airline ever) overbooked EVERY. SINGLE. FLIGHT leaving the airport. EVERY. SINGLE. ONE.  Over the course of waiting in the airport for 12 hours, I spoke to probably over 15 people over a course of eight, (count it, EIGHT) different flight gates. 

1st flight: oversold

2nd flight: oversold

3rd flight: 6 on standby list.

4th flight: 10 on standby list. Not a chance

5th flight. back to being 6th on standby list.

6th flight: #2 on standby list. Just missed the flight

7th flight: oversold

So flight number eight. At this point, 

1. I've cried in front of three agents. (By the way, NOT intentional. Totally hate crying in front of ANYONE, let alone looking completely pathetic in front of a bunch of people.)

2. Been through security twice because I went back up to the front desk to see if I get get a confirmed flight the following morning. Yea, what they told me at first was that it would cost me $150 to confirm a later flight. Come to find out, it was actually $420. Can't go that route.

3. Contemplated buying a first class ticket for $600 just so I could get out the airport.

4. Spoke to AA customer service on the phone. The agent on the phone was totally rude. 

5. Told I'd be on standby till Tuesday...and the agent had the nerve to add a laugh after saying that.

ugh...etc. etc....I won't even go thru the rest because it's exhausting to even think about. 

So in the midst of all that, I got real religious. I'm not even gonna front. I was speaking in tongues at one point. (Stop laughing.) This old black lady just kept encouraging me. 

"Aw baby, don't even worry about it. You'll get on tonight." OH PLEASE STOP TALKING! I FEEL THE TEARS WELLING UP AGAIN!!!

So after getting denied at the seventh flight, the black lady comes up to me again. "Sweetheart, stay positive. It's good that you're traveling alone because if there's a couple ahead of you and they only have one seat, they'll put you on the flight. Just stay positive, just stay positive," she said as she patted me on the back. I was a hot crying mess at this point. I'd held it in way to long. 

So I'm waiting at gate number eight and I hear the announcement "Ladies and gentleman, this flight is completely checked in. We will let standby passengers know if there are any available seats after we've boarded the plane." Great. I'd heard that announcement 4 times by now. I started scoping the chairs and the floor for a good place to sleep for the night. I'd decided at that point that I wasn't going to call Natalia if I couldn't get on a flight that day. I know she would have come out, but I had already had her make an unnecessary 2nd trip to the airport when I thought I would get a confirmed flight out the next day. Plus the thought of missing the earliest flight the next day by going home kept looming over my head. AND....I have nothing... No deoderant, no toothbrush...NOTHING....why....cause my bag's already in Lubbock. Lovely.

"Last call for passenger Anita..."

oh my goodness...Hope? But wait, there's the same two guys rushing the desk: an older white guy, and a spanish man. They've been waiting standby along with me all day. Surely one of them is ahead of me. I curled back into my jacket which I'd fashioned into a pillow. The spanish man kept pestering the agent in Spanish. "Sir, I need to check the plane before I confirm you on the flight. Just hold on." At this point, the plane was already being held for 30 minutes.

Ten minutes later the agent comes from the plane, "HERNANDEZ!" The spanish man rushes the desk. "Two? No I only have one seat. Where is she? NURSE!" At this point, the spanish man is in a FRENZYYYY, pointing to his wife, 

"No. Her." the agent enforced, POINTING AT ME.  "Go now, the plane's about to leave. Seat 21D."

OH. MY. GOD.

I literally ran towards the gate yelling "thank you Jesus!"

Now that's not even the good part..... THIS is the crazy part...

I get to my seat....lol....this is crazy......it's an AISLE seat....get this....in the EXIT row!

COMEON' SOMEBODY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have never seen the righteous forsaken or their children begging bread!!!

I have seen the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living!!!

What shall I return to the LORD for all his goodness to me?!?!?!?!

Let me tell you - I'm not one to do any shoutin' in church, but I coulda HI STEPPED my way up and down the aisle of that plane, I TELL YOU WHAT!!!!! LOLOL! Folks already thought I was crazy. All I could say was "Thank you Jesus! Thank you Jesus!" soundin' like Adrian Jiminez. LOLOLOLOLOL. 

I'm tryin to TELL yall! God will allow you to go through things to show you His GLORY!!!! COMEON NOW! Let me stop! Bout to ruin my press! LOLOL

My life... needs underscore music...

I....never...miss...flights...

Yet here I am. Sitting at the gate...on standby for a "full" flight pouting like a five year old who just lost their pet goldfish.

Did I mention I NEVER miss flights. I'm so angry at myself. I missread my ticket and for some STUPID reason thought my flight left two hours later than it did. DON'T ask...for pete's sake DON'T ask.

It makes me sick to my stomach to think that when I was rolling over reaching for my snooze button, the flight I was supposed to be on was taking off. :screaming:

Lord, pleeeaaaase get me on the next flight outta here. I need FAVOR!

Side note: does the National Security Threat level EVER dip below "Orange"? :blank stare:

The not so random thought of the day: If I can help it, I'm never flying American again

God's Sense of Humor

It's probably not the case, but I feel like I have this special, completely unique relationship with God. I feel like I know this side of him that no one seems to talk about.

God is funny. In fact...He's hilarious. He has the best one liners, the best dry humor, and if Jesus did stand-up, he'd be the best stand up comedian...ever.

I'm convinced that I've had moments in my quiet time with God, where He's actually laughed at me. I'm talkin, the best inside jokes I've ever had have been within quiet time. I mean, that may seem odd or out of place to some people, but if we were created in His image, why don't we think God laughs???
In all His Glory, and majesty, yes I think God has a sense of humor. In fact...I'm convinced. There's way too much evidence of His humor in my life...

Evidence number one....

This man....is my fiance...



I mean...REALLY. If you know me in any capacity, there's absolutely no reason why I'd have to explain why this is funny. (BTW, the guys you hear "kee-kee"ing in the background are his older brothers.) My relationship with Kaleb is in so many ways a reflection of how God loves me. It's this beautiful romance of spontaneity, quiet times, loud times, mushy stuff, warm fuzzies, realness, passion (the pure kind), and absolutely hilarity. When I look at all the qualities that encompass Kaleb, I can't help but laugh because I never in a million years thought our personalities would compliment each other...yet...God KNEW this! That's how I know God is funny! I really believe God got a kick out of bringing me Kaleb because he encompasses all the qualities I wanted in a husband, but he's so NOT what I had pictured in my mind. I never imagined myself marrying someone out of my race, he's younger than me, he's "soft" like a teddy bear (HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! ohhh man he's gonna love that), he listens to country music (and enjoys it, WHAT.) he's hilarious (to other people too, not just me)  just....everything...EVERYTHING! lolol...God had to be sitting up there like "She's about to get her world ROCKED. I can't wait to watch this happen." sighhhhh God loves me.

God is a brilliant comedian. He really is. I'll take his humor any day.




And the random thought of the day..."I think deep V-necks are going out of style. Thaaaank youuuuu Jesus."  

Push up the fader...

I've been in withdrawal. I used to write on the regular and I've found myself exploding with blogs but having no outlet apart from Facebook status and Twitter's stupid 140 character tweet space. :bitter: I used to blog on Myspace (rest in peace), and after that died it's slow painful death (still dying btw), I've yet to find a suitable space. I tried Facebook, but it wasn't the same. :0/ Partly because people can't subscribe to Facebook "notes" (yes I have an ego) so it felt kinda pointless to me. Is anyone even reading this. :chirp:

I was inspired once again after reading a really...bad...blog on church sound which to my shock, was referenced by a notable audio website (which shall remain nameless.) After reading a horrific entry on "sound ladies" I'd just about had it. The compulsive need to write all my meaningless banters and random ramblings had climaxed. "I need to start a blog. A real one."

Which brings me to Blogger. I have to tell you, I almost didn't create this blog because I had to come up with a stupid name. I sat there looking at my screen for a good 15 minutes thinking of a witty yet appropriate name for the blog I'd spill my guts on.  "Sound girl? Corny...and while I wouldn't mind having a post or two about career, sound and all that, on the grand scale of things, I don't want to focus on that....PianoFrk? No...I think it's time to retire the AOL screen name you've had since you were 14, Elaine. hmm....." Then it came to me. "Push up the fader."

Funny story about that. Get to it in a second...

There are three audio engineers whom I really admire and whom I'd consider career mentors. The first being Bruce Bowles, who was the first audio tech I came in contact with when I started working at Disney. If there's one person I could attribute the foundation of my digital audio knowledge to, it would be him without question. (Sorry Berklee. You sucked at that.) Al Oestreich, one of the best live audio/system engineers I know and a master at his craft. And Carl Beatty. Carl was one of my mix professors at Berklee and hands down has the best ears I've come across. But apart from learning how to listen critically, the most valuable thing I took away from his class was how he approached the console. Just by the way he pushed up the fader told you this joker knew what he was doing. He...ATTACKED the console. And not in a careless way -- rather every fader he pushed, every knob turned, had a purpose. He'd mix with all ten fingers. Every move was made in conviction, and it was always musical. I learned more about dynamics, swells, and musicality from Carl's class than I did in several of the music courses I took at Berklee. Watching him mix was like watching someone conduct a symphony. I remember thinking "Wow. I want to be that." Until I know what I'm doing, I want it to at least look like I know what I'm doing.

Carl Beatty...



Before taking Carl's class, mixing scared the living daylights outta me. I'd take a good minute just to get a fader up. What I was afraid of? I'm still trying to figure that out. You have to try real hard to get feedback in a studio setting, yet fear would completely overwhelm me. I wasn't the only timid one when approaching the console. I remember sitting in Carl's class and one of my classmates was behind the console attempting to throw up a mix and his mix was completely bass-less for a good 5 minutes. After patiently waiting, Carl finally says to him "The bass. Push up the fader."

So fast forward to Disney World. I'm working in one of the larger venues, running cable, minding my business when I hear the lead audio engineer standing in the audience's listening area, barking direction to another A2 who's off to the side at the console. "Send me more CD please...more CD....more.......more....more please....PUSH UP THE FADER YOU (expletive)!!!" The A2 scrambles and suddenly ear deafening CD audio comes blasting through the PA. hahahahaha. It was hilarious.

So why'd I name my blog this. You can't be afraid to "push up the fader." There's no room for fear in audio engineering, just like there's no room for fear in life. (Oh man, I'm being so deep right now...whaaat thaaaa...) So in short, "Push up the fader" is an aspect that I feel like I've been able to apply to more areas than audio.

My hope is that this blog is real, and encouraging, helpful, honest, and hopefully...funny. If God has a sense of humor (which I KNOW He does because there's no way I'd be engaged to a Mexican Texan, crazy Longhorn, country music lovin, Cowboy's football fan named Kaleb Jiminez, if He didn't! lol! roflroflrofl), then maybe I should have a good sense of humor too. lol....oh man...God loves me...He really does.

And there you have it...the name of my blog..Push up the fader...I'm so outta practice....bear with me...the next one will be more entertaining...and hopefully make more sense.